I Can't Believe This is My Life...

Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

I was riding by my old neighborhood the other day and a sense of remorse and regret started to swell in my heart. I started going down memory lane and recalling all the things that my life used to include. I had a husband, a nice house, substantial income, lots of acquaintances, and so on. The feelings of resentment and remorse tried to overtake me, and I began to think…” I can’t believe this is my life!” I began to ask the Lord to help me. Help me to stop going down the rabbit hole of my former journey. Suddenly, my focus changed. I began to look at the other side of the coin so-to-speak…

I can’t believe that I no longer get to live in that big, beautiful house because of life circumstances, but on the other hand, I can’t believe that God has provided a home that I never imagined I could have.

I can’t believe that I am single-no longer married to my husband of 28 years, but on the other hand, I can’t believe that God has filled a void in my heart that even my husband could not fill.

I can’t believe that my family and I had to endure so much heartbreak after my husband passed, but on the other hand, I can’t believe how God has comforted us in our pain and delivered us from resentment.

I can’t believe that I never had the career that I desired, but on the other hand, I can’t believe that God has given me the opportunity to begin again in my latter years.

I can’t believe that I thought my former life was so grand, yet full of sorrow, but on the other hand, I can’t believe that God has taken my not so grand life and filled it with such Joy.

I can’t believe that my husband is no longer here to enjoy this life we were given, but on the other hand, I can’t believe that God has given me a new lease on life that I am fully willing to embrace.

I can’t believe that I am a single parent guiding and advising adult children, but on the other hand, I can’t believe that God has caused them to show me tremendous love and respect.

I can’t believe that this is how my life has turned out at this point, but on the other hand, I can’t believe how God has given me a new path and purpose for my life.

I can’t believe that I thought I had attained all that I ever needed in life, but on the other hand, I can’t believe how God has opened my eyes to see that there was so much missing and much more in store for me.

I can’t believe that I had to suffer the pain of betrayal and brokenness, but on the other hand, I can’t believe how God has made me whole again.

I can’t believe that I had to forgive people who I thought loved me and cared for me, but on the other hand, I can’t believe how God was able to take my heart and mold it to His will.

I can’t believe that I have had to rebuild my entire life when I was supposed to be in my “golden years”, but on the other hand, I can’t believe that God has strengthened me and guided me every step of the way.

I can’t believe that I thought I was living my best life, but on the other hand, I can’t believe that God has allowed “my best” life to be halted in order to give me His best life for me.

All in all, I can’t believe the twists, turns, and valleys that my life has taken. I couldn’t understand it when I was going through them. Now, that I am on the other side and into my new journey, I realize that each twist, turn, and valley was being used by God for my good. James 1:2-4 says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

I would not lie and say that I wanted to go through these trying experiences, but I cannot imagine that I would have ever come to the place that I am in life without them. I would not tell anyone that it is enjoyable to experience hardship and trials, but on the other hand, I can tell them that I am so grateful that I did. Without those experiences, I would not have come to understand our Heavenly Father the way I do now. I would not have had the depth of relationship with Him that I now treasure. Truly, I can’t believe this is my life, but on the other hand, I am so grateful that it is.