I Still Go There

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV)

I still go there…

Even though God delivered me from the pain of my former years just as I prayed, I still try to go back to my life as I knew it and make mental adjustments to change the outcome of some difficult situations. I struggle greatly with releasing the events of my past and even more the plans and dreams I had made. I don’t mean to disregard what God has miraculously done for me, but my heart still longs for those mistakes to be corrected and those plans and dreams to come to fruition.

I consider many scenarios as to how things would have worked or turned out differently if I had only done things differently. I try to forget what I did to fit in with my college crowd. I try to justify getting married when I did even though the warning signs were there. I try to forget how I responded in anger and spoke unkindly to my child and once laid hands on my other child. I imagine if I had stayed five more minutes, I would have been there when my son got hurt on the football field. I try to figure out why some people, who used to be in my life, have now conveniently forgotten all about me. The list goes on and on. My mind envisions all of the possible outcomes - good and bad - that would put me in a better place than I am now. Unfortunately, all of my visions and scenarios only lead me to more pain and frustration because they will never become my reality.

Isaiah 43:13 (NIV) says, “Yes, and from ancient days I am he. No one can deliver out of my hand. When I act, who can reverse it?” This is what we all need to understand… there is nothing to be done when God allows things in our lives or when He moves on our behalf. He has the final say and we must allow Him to help us accept the new version of life that He has given us and the path He has laid before us. Some of these things have occurred to teach us and some have occurred to protect us, but all h

ave occurred to draw us closer to Him.

His word says to forget the former things – the plans, the dreams, and the circumstances of our past. He doesn’t want us to dwell on the past. He wants us to look ahead to the future that He is bringing us into. Ultimately, it is His plans for our lives to which we should surrender. Luke 9:62 (NIV) tells us that Jesus said, “No one wh

o puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” While it is good to cherish memories of our past, we cannot find ourselves camped out in those memories such that we cannot or do not move forward. We do ourselves and those we love a dis-service, and we render ourselves useless to the kingdom of God and to those with whom we have influence.

Our mission is to share our testimony and the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ. We cannot expect to win souls for Him if we refuse to accept the deliverance and growth that He is offering us. How do we offer something to someone that we have actually rejected? He did not deliver us just for us to go back to our place of pain and dysfunction. His desire is for us to receive the healing that He freely gives and allow Him to bring beauty out of the devastating ashes.

I constantly remind myself that none of the plans I had or will have can surpass any plan that God has for me. Proverbs 16:9 (NIV) says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” He knows all about me and what is best for me. I must trust that He is the only one that can design the perfect plan for my life to bring contentment and joy to me and glory to Himself.

Yes, I still go there, but I only allow myself to visit and remember just how far He has brought me.